Oops.

So I haven't blogged in a while, and I deserve a good slap on the wrist. As of Thursday I have been reading a very inspiring book called "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". Wow...Just wow. This book is connecting with me on 1,000 levels. The writing style is brilliant! It was given to me by a girl in my technical theatre class named Jess. I think she and I may become good friends, but we'll see. I've been struggling with high school lately (not academically, more or less socially). I'm growing more and more to dislike most people. Also, I've been having anxiety attacks over my birthday. Silly, right? Birthdays are supposed to be fun and awesome, especially your 16th. But unfortunately we cant afford sometime grand, and I prefer something small anyways. And all I want for my birthday is driving classes and my license and a car. Cliche. But I think my parents are going to get me and iPod. I don't want to sound ungrateful at all, because and iPod is a great gift, and they're not cheap, but I just wished my parents would listen to me. For example, the other day my mother and I were talking about what I wanted to do for a birthday party. I told my mother I wasn't sure yet, but I knew it would be small and only with a few friends. And promptly my father told me that I didn't have friends, and the only thing I could say without bursting into a sobbing mess was "You're right", my mother said nothing in my defense, so I just walked away and locked myself in my room. We haven't talked about a party since. I'm starting to really think about what it means to have friends, and what separates acquaintances from friends. Sure, I have many acquaintances, but only a few friends if any at all. Which conveniently goes back to the book. I want to have friends like Sam and Patrick. I want to have people I have moments I feel "infinite" with. I want to be a teenager, and live like a teenager, and feel how a teenager feels, and have great teenager glory moments. Instead I sit at home, read, listen to music, and sleep. I'm hoping my day to live comes soon. I'm ready. I used to live and feel free and invincible, but the person that gave me all those memories is gone, everyone leaves in some sense. They may not die, but your friendship might have. But I guess that's a part of life, too. The one think I'm actually excited for is our production this year at Fine Arts Center "My Name is Rachel Corrie". Great play for sure, it's real, like REAL. Rachel Corrie was a real person until the Israeli army bulldozed her. I honestly don't know much about politics or other countries, so this play is a eye opener for me. We are the first theatre to do it in this area. It's only been preformed a few other times by theatres in Europe and New York. We're just teenagers doing a play that's really controversial. That's why I love the Fine Arts Center. We're constantly challenged. Well, that's enough ranting for today.